Realstagram – 31/07/2017

I haven’t posted a photo of myself on Instagram since six months ago. And that particular photo included a caption about how I didn’t think I looked appealing in the photo. I was wearing an unflattering outfit, but secretly I also thought that I looked bloated and I knew that it wasn’t just a dissatisfaction with the way I looked, but also the number on the scales.

This shapeless outfit is not a favourite anymore. Blergh. Lovely photo of Tower Bridge though. Also I need to learn how to pose in photos.

That number slowly worked itself down, before I went on a lovely holiday, and the number more than returned – in fact I currently weigh more than I did when this photo was taken.

I don’t wear make-up because I don’t know how to very well. Back when I was at University that didn’t bother me, because I fit in my size S clothes, and it bothered nobody. Now I don’t fit in those clothes anymore and I just feel sad that I’ve got too little time and motivation to change anything about that, and I can’t even paint my face to hide these failures. I’ve just come back to the UK after a trip to Germany which always undermines my self-confidence in my appearance (story for another time).

However I also recently listened to the Off the Vine podcast hosted by former Bachelorette lead Kaitlyn Bristowe, with her guest Erin Treloar of Raw Beauty Talks. A lot of what they discussed resonated with me. While I do want to change the way I treat my body, because I’m not being active enough to keep it healthy, I also need to change the way I view myself. So this #realstagram post is a try at changing that, with one of the exercises mentioned: 3 things I love about myself.

  1. I love my optimism. I do get down about things occasionally, but generally I hold onto the hope that nothing in life is permanent, so the negative things won’t last. And it’s all in my power to change things – whether it’s changing the circumstances, or changing how I see things.
  2. I love my commitment to my friends. I don’t always feel like I do enough in between times I see them as we are spread across the country, and with others across continents, but in the moment that I am with them I give them 100% of my attention and love. I am my friends’ cheerleader when I chat with them, I always want them to do well in whatever they pursue.
  3. I love my persistence. I am not a success story by the measures that I know other people have imposed on me, but I am happy with where I am right now in my life. I have gotten to where I am because of the choices I have made, and none of them can have been wrong if I’m happy where I am. I also keep working towards my goals. I may experience set-backs but I don’t let that keep me from going for things over and over again.

It wasn’t easy writing this list. Reading it back, right after saying what I love about myself, I qualify it and minimise myself. I do that under the guise of being real, keeping myself honest and not exaggerating what I do and how I am. So I guess that’s identified an inner value I need to work on: confidence. (Not something I thought I needed to work on back at University, trust me.)

What are 3 things that you love about yourself? Is there an area of your personality you want to work on, but struggle with?